Tag Archives: plague

Studies Confirm Your Wife has Gamedar

image

The apocalypse had begun!

A breakthrough in the study of Extra Sensory Perception (ESP) at the University of California has discovered wives develop a 6th sense called, Gamedar. They don’t know exactly when it develops, but they’ve narrowed it down to be between eating wedding cake and having sex for the fist time after being married. Because men need cake and sex, there is no stopping the ESP from maturing. Our only hope is to find how it is spread.

The University of Texas suggests Gamedar is transmitted through the tossing of the bouquet. Some men have tried plastic flowers in hopes the disease cannot spread via artificial bouquets. So far, all attempt to stop the spread of Gamedar has failed. Several weddings have banned bouquet tossing, but the University of Texas believes women preform a secret witch ritual that involves all pets in the household. If the wife is gone for any reason, the pets are activated and we’ll ruin any gaming session by: vomiting, pooping on controllers, urinating everywhere, fighting, running in traffic, faking a hairball, and laying on keyboards.

The frat houses at Harvard University are working around the clock to formulate a vaccine for this horrible disease. In their studies they’ve put together a checklist to help engaged men spot an early onset of Gamedar. Here is that checklist:

1. Your fiancee watches you play video games and smiles semi-evilly.

2. Your fiancee asks you stupid ass questions while you’re playing simple games like Angry Birds.

3. Your fiancee happily grabs a controller and “tries”  to play too.

4. Your fiancee touches your penis more while you’re playing video games.

5. Your fiancee tells you she doesn’t mind you raiding all night while her friends are out having a great time at the bar. She just loves you so much she wants to spend every moment with you.

If you see any of these symptoms, please call 1-888-GAMEDAR. Our operators are standing by 24/7 to help you through this crisis.  Act now and we’ll throw in World of Warcraft’s 3rd expansion, Cataclysm, for free.