Millions of World of Warcraft subscribers are Confused as they wait less than an hour for the new expansion to be announced. They are all worried about the same thing:
Here at Couture Gaming we’ve come up with a quick checklist to help you figure out if you have enough time to masturbate before the next WoW expansion is announced.
1. Have you masturbated in the past 5 min?
A. YES- you’ve filled your quota for the day. Please wait quietly and do not go on social media and tell everyone you’re done.
B. NO- As quickly as you can go to Sears and get a new catalog. HURRY!
2. Do you have asthma?
A. YES- STOP! Please consult your physician before any further WoW expansion news.
B. NO- STOP! Just stop please. You have issues.
3. Do you currently own all WoW expansions and do not have an active subscription?
A. YES- Proceed to masturbate at your leisure. Don’t worry about the expansion, masturbation is your thing and you don’t need an excuse.
B. NO- You do not have time to masturbate. You need to buy all the previous expansion before you’re allowed to cuff one off.
4. Is your cat/dog watching you?
A. YES- Go feed your pet in a different room before you scar the poor thing for the rest of its life.
B. NO- Clean up when you’re done.
5. Is your spouse watching you with 3 of their hottest friends?
A. YES- You lie and you’re too sad to masturbate now. Just sit in front of your computer and wait
B. NO I’m single- Fire away!