Tag Archives: love

GAMERS’ MISSED CONNECTIONS

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I hope we can get to 3rd base

Here at Couture Gaming we believe in true love and we hate to see when love is missed.  To help this we’ve complied a list of missed connection from several gaming forums. If you happen to be one of these people, we sincerely hope you find your lost love.

World of Warcraft

“To the Worgan in Goldshire on Argent Dawn server,

I saw you upstairs in the inn dancing. I don’t know what attracted me to you, but the way the light bounced of your hairy back got my excited. I could only dream of the day your sharp claws would dig into my back and your tier 2 oversized, transmogged shoulder pad awkwardly bump into mine as we kiss. Please if you were a level 100 Worgan Warrior hanging out in the Lion’s Pride at 10am on the 19 of August, meet me back there tomorrow for some intense role playing. Be prepared to get your fur all musty.

“Dear LFR Healer,

I really don’t care who you are, but could you please heal me. I’m a 23 year old lonely Rogue looking for some heals once and awhile in LFR. I’m willing to fall in love with any healer willing to heal me just once. You will save me thousands in repair costs. I just need a little healing… Please
-signed- Lonely Dead LFR Rogue

EVE Online

“To the overly serious dude shouting F’bombs in voice chat,

Gawd, you talk so dirty when we’re losing a battle in EVE. I get so horny when you become violent and start beating on your computer. Last night while we were being ambushed from the rear I thought about you a lot. I was sad you were not on because  I knew you’d flip out more than necessary.  I feel we would are a great team because I like to play games and get pissed off too. We need to log into Skype someday and just yell at each other.

Neverwinter on Xbox One

“To the gold spammers,

I’m sorry I missed that in chat, what’s the website again… ”

Call of Duty

” To Earl Gray,

While playing Call of Duty last night I noticed you camping me and teabagging me. I just wanted you to know I enjoyed hours of watching your ass smack me in the face while I waited for my respawn timer to reset. I appreciate your dedication and would like your real home address so we can get to know each other better. Of it’s ok I’d like to in its my friend Louisville Slugger to come meet you face to face. I’m sure you’ll love him and quickly become blood brothers.

General

” Dear male gamers,

I’m looking for that guy that doesn’t think I want to have sex with him because I’m a female gamer. I know he’s out there. A guy that just wants to have fun and play games without mentioning his penis or my breasts in “casual”  conversation. I know I missed you because so far I haven’t found you playing the games I play. Yes, I’m a female gamer. No, I do not want to get busy with you. Yes,  I’m married. No, I won’t get on Webcam and show you my tits. Yes, I’m looking for mature male gamers. No,  I’m not a ugly slut. I just wanted to clear that up because I mis playing games with you ALWAYS.

From all of us at Couture Gaming, happy gaming and we hope you find that special someone someday.

Woman Marries After Telling Xbox Off

Paula Sensen age 56 of Winnipesaukee,  NH,  finally got married for the first time after dating the same guy for 31 years.  After Joe Dodson age 40 went on  a 16 hour Call of Duty binge, Paula was fed up and screamed, “Get off that fucking XBOX… OFF… FUCK… XBOX… OFF!”

To her surprise, the Xbox gently powered down and sat there quietly waiting her next command. From that moment on Paula was in love. She was finally listened to and every command out of her mouth was executed without some smart-ass remark or bullshit excuse. For the first time in 31 years, Paula was understood.

Soon after, Joe was out on his ass without his beloved Xbox. He had no idea what happened. One moment he was making sweet love to his Xbox controller and the next his heart was stolen right out of his hands. He was expecting a catfight over him,  but baby, sweet, Xbox just gave up without a struggle. CHEATIN’ BITCH!

Later that day Paula and Mr.  Xbox got married. Paula said at her wedding reception, “there was just an instant Kinection between us. He is constantly turned on with just me talking. I couldn’t have found a better man. Tonight I’m going to turn him on so fast and push all his right buttons. I might even shove his power cord up my ass!”

Joe had no comment he was busy trying to buy a used Wii U.