Devastating news for bloggers today participating in an event called Blaugust, a blogger by the name of Scarybooster has lapsed into a coma. After writing blog posts for 21 days straight his mind gave out on him. One minute he was laughing at his own jokes in a post and the next minute he was in a coma. He was brought to the hospital at 1am this morning showing no signs of a quick recovery. Only once our hopes rose as he was getting a sponge bath by an extremely hot nurse. Even though he didn’t wake up he smiled and quickly got an erection.
We are deeply saddened by this news and our prayers go out to his family. We do not want this to happen to anybody else so we complied a list of symptoms to look for if you know or are someone doing Blaugust. Please, seek medical attention and stop blogging if you experience any of these symptoms.
1. A feeling of attention grabbing title.
2. Lack of desire to post, but force yourself anyways.
3. The feeling nobody gives a shit what you just wrote including yourself.
4. The urge to delete your blog.
5. Uncontrollable licking of a stick of butter.
6. Checking your stats every 5 seconds
7. Writing shit just to fill the quota
8. Reading shit in hopes you get inspiration to write not-so shitty.
9. Looking at the calendar in hopes it’s September.
10. Masturbating in between paragraphs for excitement.
11. Writing a stupid list to get other bored Blaugust participants to read it.
12. Sticking your head in the freezer and slamming the door on your neck repeatedly.
13. Urinating on your neighbors dog.
14. Staying up late crying because you can’t think of a post for tomorrow.
15. Doing the dishes instead.
16. Random fits of rage yelling Belghast’s name.
17. Reading League of Legends forums for fun.
18. Buying a used copy of Matrix Online at a yard sale.
19. Watching Donald Trump speak about politics and agreeing with him.
20. Wishing NaNoWriMo was this month too.
Again, if you see or experience any of these symptoms seek mental attention from a licensed physician or hot nurse. We at Couture Gaming are worried about your sanity and lackluster posts.