Tag Archives: amazon prime day

Amazon Shopping Cart Collapses and Kills 100’s of Employees

BREAKING NEWS!!

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The apocalypse has begun

Several Amazon shopping carts have collapsed under the pressure of Amazon Prime Day deals. There are reports of dead and injured employees.  Amazon is requesting aid from FEMA and the Air National Guard. We’ll keep you up-to-date as reports come in.

UPDATE #1:

Warehouse 3 is on fire and thousands of deals are trapped! We can only pray no Xbox One deals are trapped. God help us all!

UPDATE #2:

Reports are some deals have not reached 100% within seconds. It is believed those deals are trapped under pages of other deals already claimed.  My cart is getting crazy full and could crush my bank account at anytime.

UPDATE #3:

My wife is pissed I keep adding “shit”  to our cart. I told her I’ll remove the items if Xbox One goes on sale. These are “just in case” deals.

UPDATE #4:

Iran has put sanctions on Amazon for being unethical with their savings and the  POTUS is heading to a secure location.

This madness must continue until I get that Xbox One console I’ve wanted for weeks. Even if the Earth or Pluto has to suffer, I need this!