To me Warframe is the best game in the world. I’ve been playing it for 2 years off and on, but this past year I’ve played it almost every day. I thought it was cute The Hive Leader and Totalbiscuit revisited the game recently. Their videos are cute. I hope Biscotti plays more because he has a huge audience that could draw more players to the game. The Hive Leader… Meh.
I want to tell you about the game I love and play every day. Not from a cutesy level like those other 2 guys, but on a serious level. I want you to know the game like I know it. I want you to understand why it is so addicting to me. The only way to get inside my head and understand is to give you a quick background about myself.
When I was 13 I was sent to Juvenal Lock-up for illegal gambling. It didn’t matter what it was I bet on it to get money, I just bet. I wasn’t addicted to gambling, I was addicted to money. I loved the smell of money and how much power came with cold-hard-cash. After I got out of juvie, I learned to snort drugs up my nose. By the way, snorting pot seeds hurts. Some things aren’t meant to be thrustered up your nasal cavity; mushroom juice is another painful snorting habit.
Needless to say, I moved from snorting to enemas, things are a lot smoother that way. From pot plants to Mentoes and hand sanitizer, I had one hell of a time as a young teenager. There were times I thought I was going to die or crap my pants, but the day I decided to come clean was the best day of my life. Well, not really that day or even that week. At first it really sucked because I had with withdrawals, but I started drinking alcohol and taking LSD to lessen the blow… Get it… BLOW.
Several months of rehab and intervention later, I kicked the butt and nose probing habit. Unfortunately, the love of money still lingered like a silent fart in an elevator. Ever time I touched money I had the itch to gamble. The only way to stop my serious compulsion was to find something to take my mind off it. That is when I started playing World of Warcraft. The gear grind made me feel like I was back on the farm betting on the biggest cock to win. I can still smell the blood to this day; it gives me goosebumps all over.
I played WoW for a good 10 years before I started getting bored with it. About 2 years ago I found Warframe. I heard RNGESUS call for me. From that day on I started playing Warframe religiously. I don’t know what it is about the game, but I love the feel of it. I love the different Warframes and how they feel in my sweaty palms. Every day I log in, I can’t wait to get more Prime parts to sell on the market. I’m not sure the last time I left the Void or Trade Chat. I feel like the Donald Trump of Warframe. Warframe saved my life and rid me of all my addictions. To this day I only drink a 12 pack of beer a night and Vape until I puke. Life is good and I owe it all to Warframe.
If I could give some profound advice to new Warframe players it would be:
My PS4 user name is Scarybooster and I accept all donations. I’m not ashamed of my love for Warframe and you shouldn’t be either. As a token to your gratitude you should buy me all the stuff. Unlike people that beg for stuff in game items ,I’m not going to beg; I’m going to just suggest it. The game is amazing when you start feeling the flow of the parkour and freely give away stuff to strangers. RNGESUS will set you free!
Just know, if you decide not to like Warframe you need to accept the fact that you are stupid. It’s ok to be stupid, you just need to realize you are stupid to be enlightened. Only then can you move forward and still be stupid for not playing Warframe. Good luck young Tenno and stay away from coffee enemas.