MMO’s are Stupid

So, I loaded up Breasts and Soul on my computer.  After that, I took the dogs outside to drop a steamer on the lawn. 6 hours later I realized I didn’t take a shower yet. Bed time rolls around  and I’m pissed I didn’t log into Warframe for the day. 2 days later I’m writing this post wondering why I even bothered wasting space on my computer for another shitty MMO I’m not going to play. 

I’ve totally lost interest in MMOs because they are no longer difficult to me and there is no mystery. All MMOs these days hold your hand too much. I miss the days when I got lost in the woods and feared the night cycle. I just want a shitty compass that points north, south, east and west. Not a map or flashing pointer on the ground screaming, “Yo stupid, this way!” I want to be so damn lost I need to contemplate chewing off my own arm. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy doing quests, but I want to stubble around like an idiot trying to find where I need to go to complete it. MMOs are just stupid these days. 

I read today Wildstar is quickly failing. A game that wanted to be hardcore, but held your hand the whole time and looked like a baby threw up a box of crayons. These games are dumbing it down so much people lack the motivation to do the hardcore stuff because getting to it is so mind-numbing. That’s what the player want right? They just want the loot treadmill and not want to think. You know WoW!

Unfortunately, WoW was built on that old philosophy of being lost and crying for hours trying to figure out a quest, but it slowly babied its players. That made the industry think it wasn’t the content that mattered only what a rat was storing in its ass. I don’t want to constantly be fisting a rat to get a new set of armor! I want the fear the rat is going to fist me and he won’t stop chasing me until he does. Only stumbling upon a patrol of guards in the middle of Whothehellknows, will save me from a grossly enormous set of shoulder pads from birthing out of my dead body.  And that is how rats get loot for the next guy. 

I say fuck the UI map and fuck the flashing quest trackers. I want to feel like I’m in the real world before Google and GPS. These games are supposed to make you feel like the world you’re in is fucked up. If it is a modern day MMO with GPS and Google, fine hold my hand but make sure it is hard enough where o don’t want to leave my house. Make my choice of saving Jonny from irradiated level 1 squirrel harder than mirdering Jonny and feeding his nits to the squirrel. 

I understand people want ACTION and LOOTZ now, but those people are not getting invested in the game long enough to keep it afloat. The path of least resistance is an easy path to walk away from. When people don’t feel engaged enough from being challenged it becomes easy to leave for something else. We game hop because we are looking for mental stimulation not new loot or super actiony combat that relies heavily on how fast you can click hotkeys or make macros that your sick can use to heal a whole raid. 

It’s a hard balance between mental stimulation and instant gratification. It’s what all developers of MMOs should be looking to figure out, not what payment plan they should go with. Understand MMOs are niche and only become popular from hard work. All the new MMOs are just looking for a quick cash-in and hope to be the next big thing. Even the Kickstarter MMOs look stupid because they are trying to please everyone with PvP and PvE balance. Alongside that, they are trying to be “hardcore”, but still hold your hand. 

I have no interest in the next generation of MMOs. They are either made by quick-fix developers or old-school MMO pioneers that are out of touch with what is fun anymore. The whole genre has gotten fucked up from one game winking the lottery. Stop and think what these games are really about. That means something different for everybody, but that is why we make specific games not jack-of-all trades games. Look at the most popular games : Mincraft, Vanilla WoW, Call of Duty, Mario, Mortal Kombat ect… They all initially had a focus, even WoW. WoW used to be a PvE centric game like Everquest and it slowly morphed. 

Someday I hope to get back into MMOs, but right now they are not mentally stimulating me enough. I watched a Blade and Soul stream the other day and no matter how much the Streamer sugar coated the AMAZING combat, I had no interest in actually fighting anything because it was so mind-numbing. If I want to play Street Fighter I’ll do that not play an MMO wasting my time running around looking for a boring rat to kill. Only the PvP in Blade and Soul looked fun, but that was because it was Street Fighter. No thank you!

So I play Warframe because it knows it is a fast paced space ninja game. It started out PvE only like WoW did. It lacked the money to make it feel super ninja like in the beginning, but slowly they are really focusing on what it means to be a ninja in space. It’s not trying to be an esport or a Diablo loot piñata, it’s focusing on being a space ninja and how that would feel. As simple and grindy the game might seem at times, I always feel like a space ninja. MMOs need to start focusing on what they really are and not try to be everything. You’re a medieval RPG? Stop having a mini map and a dumbass with a ! or ? above his head. Make night time night and if you want to see use a shitty lantern. It is a medieval game start acting like medieval times. Plain and simple: focus on the true feeling of what it would be like to live in that world because that is why people play those games, not to pull +10 daggers out a rats ass. 

3 thoughts on “MMO’s are Stupid

  1. rinhammee

    That was great! I think the next MMO that comes out that does well is going to do well on accident. Well I’m getting kinda hungry, I’m going to go look for a rat and see if its got a hamburger up its butt.

  2. Scopique

    You know that there ARE hardcore multiplayer games out there in the old-school vein. Wurm came to mind almost immediately because it doesn’t give a fuck if you live or die. You have to EARN the right to keep living in that one.

    Warframe is a different beast from MMOs and comparing the two isn’t entirely fair. Warframe is a sexed up lobby shooter. The main difference is that it’s majority-focused on AI and not PvP. What you’re getting there is a sense of progression and reward with a quick, time limited method to earn it. If you find that time limited method palatable, then you won’t care how many times you have to repeat it because you’re there to earn the goods…not to repeat yourself.

    This is what MMOs understand: people come for the game, stay for the loot. Their problem is that in having everyone in the same space, no experience can be tailored for a specific client; they have to be all things to all people, all the time. Everyone has to have the same opportunities whether they play at launch or five years down the road.

    1. Profile photo of ADCoutureADCouture Post author

      I was comparing Warframe’s knowing its setting and not the loot aspect. Warframe is not an instant loot gratification game and the people let that struggle playing it are the ones looking for loot and expecting to do the next quest to progress. It’s about piping in and being a ninja be blasting stuff as fast as you can. Every new player I’ve played with asks me, “what quest should I do? What do I do now? I can’t do that mission it’s too hard” the problem is it’s like Wurm and you are thrown to the depths of space with no clue as to what to do next. Missions suck at low levels, but can be done solo. I’ve done them all solo with the starter stuff. It’s just hard. It’s about them focusing on being a ninja and fighting to get the next ninja gear to be better. MMOs set in medieval times with 0 struggle for that setting. Night time is lighter than day time and getting lost is impossible.

      I’m going to try Wurm but I thought that was just a crafting game. I love action along with struggling to survive in the world.

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