Millions of WoW Subscribers are Confused

Millions of World of Warcraft subscribers are Confused as they wait less than an hour for the new expansion to be announced. They are all worried about the same thing:

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"Do I have enough time to masturbate?"

Here at Couture Gaming we’ve come up with a quick checklist to help you figure out if you have enough time to masturbate before the next WoW expansion is announced.

1. Have you masturbated in the past 5 min?
          A. YES- you’ve filled your quota for the day. Please wait quietly and do not go on social media and tell everyone you’re done.
          B. NO- As quickly  as you can go to Sears and get a new catalog. HURRY!

2. Do you have asthma?
          A.  YES- STOP! Please consult your physician before any further WoW expansion news.
          B.  NO- STOP! Just stop please. You have issues.

3. Do you currently own all WoW expansions and do not have an active subscription?
          A. YES- Proceed to masturbate at your leisure. Don’t worry about the expansion, masturbation is your thing and you don’t need an excuse.
          B. NO- You do not have time to masturbate. You need to buy all the previous expansion before you’re allowed to cuff one off.

4. Is your cat/dog watching you?
          A.  YES- Go feed your pet in a different room before you scar the poor thing for the rest of its life.
          B. NO- Clean up when you’re done.

5. Is your spouse watching you with 3 of their hottest friends?
          A. YES- You lie and you’re too sad to masturbate now. Just sit in front of your computer and wait
You liar!
          B.  NO I’m single- Fire away!

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