Monthly Archives: September 2015

Bungie Brought up on Charges for Destiny The Taken King

 

Today Bungie was accused of creating excessive pain in all female vaginas. Their latest mission and future missions to acquire exotic items are said to be a “pain in the cunt :)” 
I contacted Bungie to see if they have any employees experiencing cunt pain during exotic mission hunting and this is what they said:

“We are throughly investigating these outbreaks of cunt pain as we speak. We have taken several female employees to the OB/GYN to get an extensive check up. We even to further steps and sent several men to the doctor for pains in their ass while playing the game. We are sincerely sorry if our game has caused anybody cunt or ass pain. We recommend kegal exercises and prostate milking to avoid further discomfort. “

While Bungie is looking into this problem, I am going to go home and make sure my wife hasn’t experienced any Bad Juju while I’ve been playing Destiny. 

Please seek medical attention right away if you experience any cunt pain while playing Destiny. Do not play Destiny if you are pregnant, breastfeeding, or have a catheter installed. If pain in the region persists, discontinue use of Destiny or ice the area while playing missions. Of a doctor is not available find a more than happy male to investigate the pain. If you are a male experiencing severe ass pain, take some Midol you sissy!